Betsy, my roommate, wanted to celebrate her birthday at the beach, so we spent ten days (thanks to my tax refund :)) on the coast in Diani, Kenya. It was pretty nice, but the beach does get boring after, like, 5 days. And there were SO MANY prostitutes in the area we were in, that it really messed with my head for the last week we were there. After a few days of being there, we were able to spot them really easily. Betsy and I stayed in a villa, and there were three other villas on our compound. This guy that was staying in one of them brought home multiple prostitutes in the 10 days that we were there. It was so horrible. Then there was this restaurant/bar on the beach. We’d often eat there because the food was amazing. In the day, it was a really nice place to sit and just look out over the water (the restaurant was literally right on the beach). But then at night it turned into this crazy, gross-man-prostitute-filled horrible place. The men were SO blatant about…the prostitutes. It’s like there was no shame in something like that. It’s no better to be with prostitutes and hide it, but at least if you’re trying to hide it, it’s because you know there’s something wrong with that. Again, that’s not okay, but there was just no shame with some of these men. Or women. I was really happy to get back to Nairobi and spend a couple of days in a normal place.
And Nairobi is even more ‘normal’ to me, because it is incredibly westernized! We went to two malls! And they were both too expensive to shop at! Really, they were built for only incredibly wealthy people. I was trying to find a pair of shoes, preferably around $10. So I was going in store after store that sold shoes, and I was able to find a couple pairs of shoes for about $80, but most of them were over $200, and I am not kidding! It was crazy! I ended up finding a store that’s comparable to Payless in the States, but it was the only ‘cheap’ store in the mall! And I had to pay, like, $13 instead of $10! But the food and restaurants in Nairobi are just heavenly. They have real restaurants, where they look at you when they talk to you, and they acknowledge when you need something, and they’re polite, and they serve things other than rice and beans and maize! Like, they serve meat without strange things attached to it that you can’t actually chew! It was soooo yummy. I could have eaten and eaten and eaten. That’s all I wanted to do there. And look at all the clean, shiny things in all the stores. When we walked in to that first mall, I actually stopped abruptly, my mouth was hanging open, and I didn’t even realize I was doing that till Betsy looked back and asked me what was wrong. I was kind of embarrassed, but I just wasn’t expecting to walk into a place like that. It was all really pretty and clean, and just beautiful. Even better than Walmart or Target.
I took the 
picture of the building in a tourist town called Malindi, last year. If there are buildings, those are the typical buildings that you see here in Kenya. And although they may look somewhat decent to you, I promise that inside they are filthy, smelly (I don’t know why, but everything in Kenya smells very bad) and parts of the ceilings, walls and doors and anything else inside, is falling apart, or crumbling, or just missing. We have similar buildings in our town too, but they are just not comparable to American buildings. And that was a big touristy town.
picture of the building in a tourist town called Malindi, last year. If there are buildings, those are the typical buildings that you see here in Kenya. And although they may look somewhat decent to you, I promise that inside they are filthy, smelly (I don’t know why, but everything in Kenya smells very bad) and parts of the ceilings, walls and doors and anything else inside, is falling apart, or crumbling, or just missing. We have similar buildings in our town too, but they are just not comparable to American buildings. And that was a big touristy town.Typically, a ‘duka’ is a ‘store’, and they’re those wooden/tin shack things, and they are ever
ywhere because that is where Kenyans shop. So you can understand why an expensive mall would shock me! I also got really greedy really fast. I wanted to buy things just because they were clean or pretty, not because I needed them. But there are no malls in Kitale, so I don’t struggle with that here :) Actually, everything is covered in red dirt, so I don’t even want to buy things here.
ywhere because that is where Kenyans shop. So you can understand why an expensive mall would shock me! I also got really greedy really fast. I wanted to buy things just because they were clean or pretty, not because I needed them. But there are no malls in Kitale, so I don’t struggle with that here :) Actually, everything is covered in red dirt, so I don’t even want to buy things here.Anyway, it was nice to be in Nairobi, but I really like my home here in Kitale. It was so wonderful to finally be back home! Since then, I have just been spending a lot of time editing notes for my Bible teacher, and re-writing a Bible course for children. I’m really loving and enjoying that kind of work! It’s challenging, but just so wonderful! Now I know what I should have gone to college for, 10 years ago!
I still spend 2 or 3 days a week visiting my Swahili teacher and his family. I spent a couple hours there today with my friend, Caroline, another Kenyan girl I met last year, so that was really nice. She’s wonderful with children, and I truly hope that someday I can go through the children’s Bible course with her, so that she could teach it to others. She is such a sweet-spirited, genuinely kind and compassionate person. And she is only 19! She would be a wonderful teacher. I’m praying about an opportunity to show it to her soon, to see if she would be interested in going through it. She has a son who is eight, and she could start out by teaching him.
I also spend a day, once in a while at In Step, the baby home in my area. Last week when I went there, I went there with a couple (usually I am with a group of people), but they spent the day in the house with the people who started the baby home. So I was outside by myself, and the children literally attacked me. I lasted half an hour with them. When there’s a group of people who go, the kids can fan out and pick who they want to jump on, and whose hair they’re going to pull out, but when it’s only you, it’s rough! They always call white people ‘mgeni’ because that means visitor in Swahili. But I have a name, so I don’t let them call me that…so now they all know my name, and every two seconds someone was saying ‘Alyson, na mimi!!!!!!!!!!!!’ See, I was on the swing set, so I’d have a child in my lap and we’d swing. But all of the other 8 million toddlers wanted to swing with me, so they were saying ‘Alyson, and me!!!!’, meaning it was their turn to swing with me. So after a half an hour, I went to a secluded area where an aunty was sorting corn with 4 other children, and I spent the rest of the morning with them! This baby home is up to 105 or 106 babies, I can’t remember which. Actually, they probably have about 90 infants to toddlers, a handful of kids around the ages of 4-7, and then a handful of kids around the age of 10. It’s an amazing baby home, but it’s crazy tiring to go there.
I also spend a day, once in a while at In Step, the baby home in my area. Last week when I went there, I went there with a couple (usually I am with a group of people), but they spent the day in the house with the people who started the baby home. So I was outside by myself, and the children literally attacked me. I lasted half an hour with them. When there’s a group of people who go, the kids can fan out and pick who they want to jump on, and whose hair they’re going to pull out, but when it’s only you, it’s rough! They always call white people ‘mgeni’ because that means visitor in Swahili. But I have a name, so I don’t let them call me that…so now they all know my name, and every two seconds someone was saying ‘Alyson, na mimi!!!!!!!!!!!!’ See, I was on the swing set, so I’d have a child in my lap and we’d swing. But all of the other 8 million toddlers wanted to swing with me, so they were saying ‘Alyson, and me!!!!’, meaning it was their turn to swing with me. So after a half an hour, I went to a secluded area where an aunty was sorting corn with 4 other children, and I spent the rest of the morning with them! This baby home is up to 105 or 106 babies, I can’t remember which. Actually, they probably have about 90 infants to toddlers, a handful of kids around the ages of 4-7, and then a handful of kids around the age of 10. It’s an amazing baby home, but it’s crazy tiring to go there.
Yesterday, Betsy and I went to town for a couple of things. We saw a little street boy, so Betsy told him she was going to buy him some food. When we came out of the store we sat with him and talked with him while he ate. See, if you give a street kid food, they’ll often sell it for money to buy glue to sniff (they get high off of the glue), or they’ll get beat up by other street kids who want the food. So he sat in between us, and he was so cute and little, and filthy and hungry. And he was probably one of the most polite children that I ever met in Kenya. Kenyans really are not polite people (they even say that about themselves, so it’s okay that I’m sharing this with you). He kept thanking us over and over. We found out he has a mom. Our whole conversation was in Swahili, so I didn’t really know how to ask him why he was on the streets if he had a mom at home. I asked him if she was at home because she was working, and he said yes, but I’m not so sure that was true. It is really likely that she was home, passed out from being drunk, and her kid was walking around trying to find food. A lot of the street kids actually have homes, but it’s so bad at home, that they run to the streets. Typically kids here are beaten, and sometimes it’s just so bad, that they’ll go anywhere but home. There are a lot of orphans, but there are also a lot of kids who just choose to leave home at a young age. But this kid was just too young to be on the streets. Watching him eat was one of the most disturbing, sad things I’ve seen since I got here.
And last week, on my way home from In Step, we were in a taxi, and the couple I was with told the driver to pull over. I hadn’t even seen what was going on, but when we stopped, I could hear this kid screaming. Sean and Meredith ran out of the car, down the road to where this kid was being pulled, and shoved, and crammed into a car. There was this older man trying to make a kid, probably around 8, get into his car, and this kid was fighting back so hard. Sean pushed the guy out of the way, and as soon as the kid was free, he ran off with this other little boy. Sean asked this man what he was doing and the guy said he saw the kid on the side of the road, alone, so he was just going to put him in his car and take him. You can’t just take children. Sean asked him again what he was doing, and he gave the same answer, so Sean said he was going to call the police right away if the guy did not get back in his car and leave. So the guy gets in his car and leaves, so now we’re right behind him in our car. After a few minutes he pulls over. Then he turns around and starts driving back! I thought this couple was going to make our taxi driver follow him, but Sean said since the kid took off running, the guy probably wouldn’t be able to find him again. I seriously got sick to my stomach and couldn’t stop thinking about it all day. People try to get rid of their children here, because it’s too much of a burden to feed them and send them to school. So if a guy is willing to take a kid he doesn’t know off the side of the road, I couldn’t help but think what he would have made him do. Or how he would have treated him.
This culture has almost zero concern for women and children. Do you know how many ten year old pregnant girls there are here? I don’t know the exact number, but I know it’s actually not uncommon. Young girls are so often molested by their fathers, grandfathers, uncles, brothers, teachers and other boys that know them. That is why my friend Caroline, who is 19, has an 8 year old. And Kitale, specifically, has an incredibly high rate of incest. It’s disgusting.
Women and children here are treated like they are less than a piece of crap (and this isn’t even the worst place in the world for women to live). I don’t know why it’s accepted. A friend told me that she heard a woman say once, that if her husband doesn’t beat her once a week, she doesn’t feel loved. Now, that is not human nature. If a human is beat, they automatically feel rejected or scared, not loved. That shows how twisted things are here. There is no way that woman actually feels that way, but maybe she’s tricked herself into thinking that. It is more normal than not here, that if you are a woman or child, you get beat. I don’t know why. I really do try to figure out what happened sometimes. Everyone says Africa is more relational. No it isn’t! They might do things a whole lot slower here, and they’re not ever in a rush, and they might do more things together, because it’s hard to do most things here alone (like laundry, or planting your shamba and things like that), but it is not more relational! No one care about each other! If people need something, they find the nearest white person, instead of a family member! I don’t think that counts as being relational. Something is incredibly broken in the family unit here. It almost doesn’t exist. Couples rarely ever seem like they like each other, never mind have a good marriage (how can you when you’re abused?). Parents don’t spend a lot of time with their kids because life is too hard; mom’s have to cook and clean, and those things literally take all day to do here. Many, many, many fathers and husbands are alcoholics and a lot of women are too. Especially in the slum areas which are all over the place. Children often get dumped with grandparents or aunts or uncles, because the mom or dad, for whatever reason, can’t care for the child. Or the kids are left to the streets or orphanages.
Women and children here are treated like they are less than a piece of crap (and this isn’t even the worst place in the world for women to live). I don’t know why it’s accepted. A friend told me that she heard a woman say once, that if her husband doesn’t beat her once a week, she doesn’t feel loved. Now, that is not human nature. If a human is beat, they automatically feel rejected or scared, not loved. That shows how twisted things are here. There is no way that woman actually feels that way, but maybe she’s tricked herself into thinking that. It is more normal than not here, that if you are a woman or child, you get beat. I don’t know why. I really do try to figure out what happened sometimes. Everyone says Africa is more relational. No it isn’t! They might do things a whole lot slower here, and they’re not ever in a rush, and they might do more things together, because it’s hard to do most things here alone (like laundry, or planting your shamba and things like that), but it is not more relational! No one care about each other! If people need something, they find the nearest white person, instead of a family member! I don’t think that counts as being relational. Something is incredibly broken in the family unit here. It almost doesn’t exist. Couples rarely ever seem like they like each other, never mind have a good marriage (how can you when you’re abused?). Parents don’t spend a lot of time with their kids because life is too hard; mom’s have to cook and clean, and those things literally take all day to do here. Many, many, many fathers and husbands are alcoholics and a lot of women are too. Especially in the slum areas which are all over the place. Children often get dumped with grandparents or aunts or uncles, because the mom or dad, for whatever reason, can’t care for the child. Or the kids are left to the streets or orphanages.
I know this might sound like such a stretch, but I really think that a huge reason why Kenya is so impoverished is because of the family structure. There is none. It’s mostly survival here. If a family can’t survive, how will a nation be successful? Do you know how rich Kenya is? The land, the things they grow and could export, the natural resources…it’s all here. It doesn’t have to be a third-world country, but it is. Because the government is corrupt, and because there is such a broken down family structure. When sin works its way into a family, it’ll definitely work itself into the nation. Maybe that’s why Israel often had to suffer the consequences of sin as a whole, and not as individuals. Remember the story in Joshua chapter seven? Israel had just made it into the Promised Land. They defeated Jericho. Then they were about to enter into battle with Ai, which they thought wouldn’t be a big deal. But they lost the battle. All because a man and his family had taken something that they were told not to take at the end of their previous battle. Joshua kind of freaked out, laid down on the ground all day, along with others, and asked why God brought them through the desert, to be defeated in the Promised Land! God told him to stop his nonsense because the reason they lost that battle was because someone sinned. Actually, God says that Israel sinned, but we find out later in the chapter, that it was really one man who took something. But the nation of Israel suffered some of the consequences of this man’s sin, and his whole family died for his sin (maybe they were all in it too though). So, sin is a big deal, and sometimes our sin even affects others. Sometimes it literally affects a whole nation. Why don’t we learn from these Bible stories?
I think about four people read my blog, and even that might be a stretch…most of which are family members who are wonderful people. But, still, if you have a child, raise them with your husband or wife. Don’t let someone else raise them; like school teachers, or people at school programs, or nannies, or day care workers. Don’t disregard them. Train them up the way God wants you to. It’s got to be incredibly time consuming, and probably the most difficult job in the world, but a nation can be changed for the better through a child who has been raised with godly, biblical principles. The lack of the knowledge of God will lead a person, family, and nation to despair. Because sin will take over. But a true knowledge of God will bring His kingdom here, now.
It scares me to think of the way American families are slowly being pulled apart by so many things. And it’s subtle too. But the average American family does not spend much time together. There’s either too much going on in one family, so there’s no time to be together, or there are just other things raising kids, like TVs and the other electronics that replace human interaction. I see the way Kenya is. I know it has a lot to do with the family unit. America is following suit in some areas. Love your kids, and train them well.
2 comments:
excellent reminder, dearie! thank you!
You're already a great mom, you don't need a reminder :)
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